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Should you wear a shirt in Pattaya...and risk a fine if you don't?

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Shirt Shrift-you're nicked.

Long an ugly menace in Fun Town, with acres of (usually Eastern European) male, blubbery, beery fat wobbling all over the place, Pattaya's city fathers have finally decided to get tough and ordered police to secretly clamp down on the unsightly flesh mess polluting Pattaya’s sois.

Our photographer was on hand recently when the first foreigner in Fat Town was fined for not wearing a shirt.

According to our secret source, from now on, all shirtless Eastern European men found shamelessly parading around Pattaya with their pot bellies proudly poking out of their too-small shirts, will be arrested and fined, with deportation and imprisonment used only as a last resort.

Pattaya’s bar owners have also been stitched up and pressed into service with the warning:  “no more topless Russian blokes in your bars”.

This comes as a relief to those of us for whom the sight of a hairy pair of size 56 knockers on a drunken fat bloke with an open shirt, or no shirt at all, does nothing except make us feel ill, drink up and leave.

However, one shirty bar owner fumed: “If I have to ban topless Russian men, who’ll be left to buy drinks”?

Nobody at City Hall had the slightest clue what we were talking about when we called for a comment, "proving there is indeed a secret clampdown going on", our reported added.

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Guest Friday, 25 April 2014

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